Friends

Illustration by Jonathan Pahmeier

We are often unaware of other people's influence on our behaviors. We typically think we are incapable of change unless we consciously allow it. We think we can filter good behaviors from destructive behaviors. How often do we hang out with someone who is a bad influence but consciously think, “Even though they make this bad habit, I will make sure I never will.” We know this is not always the case.

To explain social learning, here is an illustration:

I have two miniature Australian Shepherds. They both have entirely different personalities. One of them, named Coy, is very skittish and shy. He tends to bark at any noise that he does not understand or cannot physically see the object that was making the noise. So, for instance, every time there was a rattle at the door, he would begin to vigorously bark at the door until he saw the person standing behind the door.

 My other dog, Copper, is a lot younger than Coy. Coy is about 6 years old, while Copper is not yet 2. Copper, growing up, was a very quiet dog. He would rarely bark or whine in any circumstance, that is, until recently, when he started to be around Coy. For context, Coy lived with my parents while Copper lived with me in my apartment. As of late, I have been spending a lot more time with my parents in their home. As a consequence, I have begun to see Copper’s behavior shift. Instead of being the quiet dog I once knew, he is now identical to Coy in his habit of barking. Whenever there is a context of a noise that cannot be seen, he starts to bark.

Well, how did this happen? As stated above, Coy would bark whenever there was a noise he did not understand. Copper then picked up that behavior. We can theorize why in the context of passing on fears and worries to the fact of learning the operant conditioning behaviors of there being a specific noise then barking. It would be hard to tell the exact reason without testing specifically, but one certain thing is that another influenced his behavior.

In this example, we can conclude that a negative change occurred with the behavior of barking being learned. I want to note the only reason I have deemed this a negative behavior is the constant persistence of the barking to the slightest unseen noise, and I prefer quiet.

Hopefully, This is a way to demonstrate how it matters who you are around. We are not always in full control of the behaviors we begin to exhibit. This is due to the factor of unconscious social learning. We can be imprinted with different behaviors for different reasons. Some examples of this can be starting to smoke or drink due to wanting to feel accepted by a group, picking on someone trying to get a laugh out of others, or on the opposite side, trying to be a kinder person because those around you have inspired you to be kinder. The point is, you will be like those who you surround yourself with, so why not surround yourself with good influences?