Young Adults

Navigating Young Adulthood

Living on your own:

To be successful living on your own, you need to make a realistic plan, learn to forgive yourself as you make mistakes, and not isolate yourself from others (We are social creatures. Take time to connect with others, if only for brief periods.), follow a well-planned, consistent routine that includes a quality sleep schedule, and take time to be grateful each day for at least three things. Make a daily plan for your meals, hydration, and exercise routine.

Resiliency:

Resiliency at this stage of your life is essential. Young adults have new experiences, opportunities, and sometimes setbacks; you are constantly learning new things. You will navigate these experiences better and grow faster if you work on resiliency. Learning and practicing resilient life habits will help you overcome your difficulties. Be patient with yourself as you work to gain the skills you need to succeed in this world. You may experience several rejections before you find the connections that are best for you. It helps build resilience, so put yourself out there often. The more you do it, the less the rejections will bother you. It’s part of life. It will help you learn how to navigate people better and enable you to figure out what you want and don’t want. The resiliency deficit is also expected in the workplace. Young employees often do not receive criticism well, which affects their work performance and the overall work environment. Employers sometimes hand-hold employees rather than focusing on customers and the business.

COLLEGE STUDENTS

Self-advocating:

Learn to advocate for yourself. Learn your weaknesses and work with your teachers, classmates, coworkers, etc., to utilize your strengths. Don’t be shy if you need to move to the front seat. If you need help understanding a subject or working on a lab project, ask if others want to form a study group or see if you can join a group that has already started working together. On day one, please introduce yourself to your teachers and schedule a meeting with them. Work for your future. It would be best if you did the uncomfortable things to get what you need to succeed. The more you do it, the better you will get at it. It is sometimes complicated for shy or introverted personalities to master this skill, but it is necessary to ensure your success. Advocating for yourself is vital to ensure the comforts of daily living, such as reporting a leak or other housing issues and working to address the problem. Address all matters quickly and stick with it until you get them resolved. Take that first step forward and keep going. You will get the hang of it.

Setting the stage for success:

The first day you are on your own is exciting and terrifying. You have what you learned from your parents, and now you must develop your own rules to live by and learn how to navigate your new freedom.

Plan your next several days once you have settled in your “new” home. Whether you start classes soon or prepare to head to work, planning out your days will give you a lot of security.

Plan your day:

-Set a time to wake up that gives you plenty of time to prepare.

-Prepare and eat a good breakfast, pack snacks/lunch.

-Make sure you have all the necessary supplies, books, etc.

-If you will drive, then plan for traffic and have plenty of gas.

-Know what your day will look like (Write down everything scheduled for the day and everything you need to do and put it on a timeline. You don’t have to stick to it, but it will help you navigate your day better.) (Link to planner coming soon)

Connect with others:

Make time to introduce yourself to people and your teachers or fellow employees. When a friend group welcomes you, join them if it feels right. It will connect you with folks until you find your best group. Don’t worry if you don’t locate a group immediately. Keep putting yourself out there, and you will find a welcoming group.

Learn how to take rejection well:

You may experience several rejections before you find the connections that are best for you. It helps build resilience, so put yourself out there often. The more you do it, the less the rejections will bother you. It’s part of life. It will help you learn how to navigate people better and enable you to figure out what you want and don’t want.

Join a club or get involved in some way in your community:

Involvement helps you acclimate to your new environment so much better and smoother. Find out what groups are available in your area that interest you or you think might interest you. Try it out. Don’t wait, don’t think about it, do it. If it’s not for you, check that one off and try another. Keep trying until you find a group that connects with you.

Daily upkeep:

Stay on top of your class notes, schoolwork, and projects daily. Do not procrastinate. It causes unnecessary stress. You’re just scared of the unknown. Focus on getting one task done; when you complete it, you will feel better and work harder to complete your other tasks. If you don’t understand something, most schools offer free tutoring services, writing labs, etc. Ask around and google it on your school’s website. Don’t delay. If you don’t understand something and have tried to understand it, get help immediately. It will help you avoid unnecessary stress. Use the help as much as you need until you feel confident you are good.

Meet your teacher:

Find out when your teachers have office hours and go to them. You won’t have the same opportunities to get to know your teachers as you have in the past. You have to do the work to get to know them and let them get to know you. You do this by meeting with them regularly. You’re helping greatly with communication on both sides. Ensure you understand the class information the way the teacher wants you to. You want them to know you, know you are a serious student, and that you respect them.

Volunteering:

Once you have a good handle on your classes and your daily schedule, start looking into ways you might volunteer somewhere in the career you think you want. Volunteering is important. Choose somewhere that works well with your schedule and doesn’t demand too much time. If you do not have time during the school semester, plan to volunteer when school is out. Volunteering in the field you are considering is one of the most important things you can do. You will learn very quickly whether this might be the career for you or whether it sounded better on paper than in reality. It helps you understand yourself better and your likes and dislikes. If it’s not for you, then that is an answer, and you should try another career option that interests you. If you are unsure, most schools offer a career center that can test you for the best careers. Once you have that information, volunteer at the top picks the test shows for you. Consider what lifestyle you want, not what social media says is the way to live. What realistically can you be satisfied with? Be sure that the career you choose will provide an income that is acceptable for you. Preparing for the lower end of the salary range is best, so your expectations are reasonable.

Planning for the next step:

If you are considering going on to professional school, make sure you start to research places that offer the program you want. Research deadlines for applying and what tests and other requirements are needed. Do this early, around your sophomore year or sooner. Once you have armed yourself with all the information you need, create a plan with a timeline of when to begin studying for entrance tests, when to take them, and when to apply to the program you have chosen. Meet with your school advisor, make sure that you are set to graduate on time to apply to your program, and stay on track with your plan. Advisors are there to help you and guide you throughout your time at college and planning for your next step. They have the knowledge you need, provide guidance for your time in undergraduate school, and help you prepare for after graduation. Meet with them every semester. (Link to handout for this section coming soon)

What to expect in the first year:

As you transition towards adulthood and independence, you will probably go through some usual stages. These are normal, so don’t be too worried. It’s part of the process. Below are lists of behaviors you should watch for and seek help if you find yourself experiencing them.

ENTERING THE WORKFORCE

Self-advocating:

Advocate for yourself. Work with your coworkers to utilize your strengths and work on your weaknesses. If you learn better with hands-on experience, communicate that to your employer. If you can learn more efficiently by reading the information, say that, too. If you need help understanding a subject or learning a particular skill, ask others how they do it and keep asking until you find someone who explains it in a way that makes sense. Day one, introduce yourself to your coworkers and others you see regularly. In today’s workplace, you may not have the same opportunities to get to know new people as you did in the past. Do the work to get to know them and let them get to know you; for example, meet with them at lunch or after hours. Doing uncomfortable things like this helps create a healthy environment for yourself and others around you. Shy or introverted personalities often struggle to jump into social situations. Interacting with others is necessary for daily living. You may need to report a leak or other issue concerning your housing and then work with others to solve the problem. You should address and resolve any issues that arise quickly. With practice, you will get the hang of it.

Setting the stage for success:

The first day you are on your own is exciting and terrifying. You have what you learned from your parents, and now you must develop your own unique rules to live by. You will learn how to navigate the new freedoms you have, which you may not fully understand.

Once you have your “new” home settled, plan your next several days. Whether you start classes soon or prepare to head to work, planning out your days will give you a lot of security.

Plan your day:

-Set a time to wake up that gives you plenty of time to prepare.

-Prepare and eat a good breakfast, and pack snacks/lunch.

-Make sure you have all the necessary supplies, books, etc.

-If you will drive, then plan for traffic and have plenty of gas.

Connect with others:

Introduce yourself to people and fellow employees. When a friend group welcomes you, join them if it feels right. This will help connect you with folks until you find the best group. Keep putting yourself out there, and you will find a welcoming group.

Learn how to take rejection well:

You will sometimes have several rejections to get the connection you want, so it’s worth it. Also, it helps build resilience, so put yourself out there often. The more you do it, work to make the rejection bother you less. It’s part of life, and you learn from it how to navigate people better. It helps you figure out what you want and what you don’t want.

Join a club or get involved in some way in your community:

You acclimate to your new environment much better and smoother when interacting in your community. Don’t wait, don’t think about it, do it. Look for groups in the area that interest you. Go to your local community center, check on social media, or google your area of interest and note your town. If there is nothing there, then consider starting your program. You can create a group on social media, post it to local group pages, and set up a meeting in a public place with lots of folks around so you and potential members will feel safe coming.

Daily upkeep:

Stay on top of your daily duties at work and home. If you keep a daily routine, it will help you not procrastinate and have work piled up. If you catch yourself getting behind, forgive yourself and start with one thing. Focus on getting one task done; when you complete it, you will feel better and work better to get through your other tasks.

Volunteering:

Take time to volunteer in your community. It can be for one hour a week or more. Volunteering helps connect you with others and think outside of yourself, provides a sense of purpose, and improves overall happiness.

Self-assess:

Throughout the year, take a moment and ensure you maintain the good habits you have created. If you allow any slip, forgive yourself and work to get back on track.

Planning for the next step:

Whether at work or home, plan out your next step. If you want to work towards a promotion, find out what steps are needed to make that happen and inform your employers of your intentions so they can help guide you to your success. If you want to work on improvements to your home or work towards purchasing a home, plan how to make that dream a reality. Whatever you want for yourself, creating a realistic plan is the best way to ensure your success. (Link for planner coming soon)

Dating:

People approach dating in different ways. Some folks aren’t interested in dating, and that’s okay too. Some folks need to focus on school, work, or both and don’t have time to date during this period, but that’s fine. Do what works for you. For some, dating comes naturally, and they navigate it with ease. For many, it does not come naturally, and they are frustrated with how easy it is for “everyone else”. If this is something you want, then you first need to figure out your purpose for dating and what you are seeking to get out of it. It would be best if you also got to know yourself first and work on anything about yourself you are unhappy with or feel needs improvement. If you think your thoughts are often negative, or your time management needs work, etc., take time to improve these traits so you are more comfortable with yourself and happier with who you are. When you align these things, you give your best self in dating, which is the best way to set yourself up for success. Don’t go looking for someone to mend you. That is asking too much of the other person, and you are the best person to help you.

Make sure you learn good safety tips for dating (below are a few tips):

-Meet in public places such as a coffee shop or restaurant.

-Tell a friend who you are meeting and where. (Perhaps leave your location services on

for them.)

-Have your own transportation.

-Stay sober and never leave your drink unattended.

-Take a self-defense class.

Understanding your parent(s) role with you now:

Now that you have left home, your parent(s) role has changed with you. They will take a step back so you can grow and become self-sufficient. They are there if you need them for advice or emergencies. Lean on them as needed, but try to do as much as possible for yourself. Doing this will help build your confidence and navigate life better. Having someone you trust to share your fears with becomes invaluable, and you’ll find yourself talking to them more than ever as you adjust. As you gain confidence, you will need less support. Know that your parents are your biggest cheerleaders and want you to succeed, so any advice they offer is to help you the best way they know how.